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What WAS I thinking?

What WAS I thinking?

Do you spend time thinking about the past or the future, either what you should and shouldn’t have done, or worry about what might happen? You’re not alone, many of us spend relatively little time in the present— where life is actually happening, where we actually have a say. Paying attention to your breath a few times a day triggers a wake-up call to slow down the endless inner dialog of thoughts about past and future, and come back to the actual challenges of the present moment. It’s calming and empowering. Try this simple exercise three times a day. It

Find your Roar

Find your Roar

Many of us avoid speaking up in relationships out of a fear of conflict, rejection or of making things worse. Hiding our feelings to avoid conflict may seem like the right choice to maintain cohesion and calm, but the cost is high. At the root of every relationship issue is the way we see ourselves in that relationship. It’s actually the last thing that most people believe they can change. In reality, it’s the only thing we can change. The work involves changing your perception of the other person, and then changing the way you react in the relationship. Changing

Getting a Good Night’s Sleep

Getting a Good Night’s Sleep

Are you like me and struggle with sleep? When I don’t sleep well, everything falls apart. Lately I wake in the wee hours, too tired to move or read, waiting and worrying how I’ll function tomorrow. Sometimes I know I’m stressed out and why, but not all the time. That’s the weird part, why do I wake up on a night I’m content and relaxed? It’s hard to be rational in the middle of the night. Next day I push myself so hard that I’m overtired at bed time and have another lousy sleep. So begins a bad habit that’s

Grow your Confidence

Grow your Confidence

We tend to think that what marks us for success is intelligence. In fact, it’s confidence that counts more than anything. With confidence, all obstacles are challenges; without confidence, they’re defeats. Irene* came to me believing she wasn’t smart, lovable or worthy of respect. She’d been demeaned most of her life, if not abused. People took advantage of her compliant nature.  She was used to it. It was her normal. It wasn’t why she’d come. She came because she wanted to change what she thought were bad work habits. She procrastinated, spent too much time browsing the Internet, checking her

Ever think, ‘I shouldn’t have done that’?

Ever think, ‘I shouldn’t have done that’?

Although we sometimes regret things we’ve done, we more often regret the things we didn’t do, especially when the only thing that stopped us was anxiety. It’s understandable, things could go wrong. But there are ways to face change on a more solid footing. It takes a little preparation. We start by facing change honestly. That means admitting that we have built-in avoidance mechanisms like procrastination or we make excuses or justify not acting. When you notice them showing up remember that you can choose to see an opportunity rather than an obstacle. I came up with lots of reasons

Managing uncertainty

When I’m sick I can get pretty cranky. Trouble is, I’m sick a lot. I have multiple sclerosis (MS). It’s easy to give in to despair and frustration…and that’s just me. My husband Stephen is also limited by my limitations. He carries the burdens of a caregiver, as well as the worries of a loved one. MS is no fun for either of us, but it’s a fact of life. There’s nothing we can do about it. However, that doesn’t mean there’s nothing we can do. It takes effort to wrench myself out of negativity, but it’s so worthwhile. I’m